March 6

Once again it is my birthday (in like an hour, but whatever) and I am making myself sad.

And wallowing in loneliness.

And really sucking at communication.

At least this year I'm not binge eating to deal (aka not deal) with my emotions. I even just turned down the offer of a free cookie. Granted, getting that cookie would require putting clothes back on and I'm just not willing to put in the effort.

I wonder what it's like to have a non-anxious brain. To not give such terrible power to such small, insignificant things. To not worry that the only motivation people have to interact with you is some form of pity.

I'm throwing a birthday party tomorrow and I have to constantly tell myself people will have fun and I am not responsible for everyone having a good time. Hell, I have to tell myself that I'm going to have fun.

I'm like the Little Engine That Could. Or as I should say, The Little Erica That Could.

I will have fun.
I will have fun.
I will have fun.
I will have fun.
I will have fun.